The horse snuck away from me again, and Alexis had to grab him before he wandered off with the hay steamer. I’d been juggling my phone, a bag of carrots, and a lead rope for the past ten minutes, and it showed. Some things never change. “Can you just grab him briefly?
” I called out. “I’m just going to feed him some carrots, then we’re done. ”
Alexis caught him, and I finally got a moment to breathe. It was Easter, and the schedule was all off.
I’d wanted to go home and nap after this, since it was a holiday, but first I had to get through the horse stuff. “In the Philippines, everything closes during Easter,” I said into the stream. “Like yesterday, Thursday to Friday, everything’s closed. I literally went to the gym and everything was closed.
Literally. ”
“That’s wild,” came a comment. “Yeah, I feel like if a place is super into Christian stuff, that’s when things close. ” I shrugged.
“But I’d rather not dig too far into religion. Just in terms of general holidays, you know? I don’t want to say the wrong thing. ”
The double Dutch bus song was still rattling around in my head from earlier.
I’d been humming it all morning, and now it was stuck on loop. Get on the bus, wiggle your feet, the double Dutch bus. I couldn’t shake it. “Get on the bus, wiggle your feet,” I sang under my breath, fiddling with the hay steamer.
It was one of those fancy ones, a hay gain, and I was trying to get it set up while keeping my horse from eating the entire bag of carrots before I could portion them out. I’d lost so much stuff in Japan, it was actually crazy. Dropping things had become a lifestyle. Just now I’d nearly dropped my phone, the carrots, and the lead rope all in the span of thirty seconds.
“This is me,” I laughed. “Literally, this is me. ”
The horse, Aries, was being stubborn. He knew I had carrots, and he wasn’t interested in anything else.
Every time I tried to get him to move, he’d plant his feet and give me that look. If you’re not going to give me carrots, I’m going to leave. “Aries, come here,” I called. “Aries.
Come here. ”
He liked those. He made a beeline for the carrot I was holding, and I got him to step forward into the lunging arena. I wasn’t going to lunge him today, just feed him, but I still wanted him to stretch a little.
There was a pole I’d set up, and I was trying to get him to step over it. It would stretch his neck nice and good. “No, no, no,” I said as he tried to go around it. “Under here.
Here. ”
He was smart. He knew I’d dropped the carrots, and he kept trying to circle back toward them. Eventually he got the hang of it, stepping over the pole and stretching his neck the way I wanted.
“Good boy,” I said. “One more like this? Come under here. Good boy.
”
The stream chat was active, people popping in and out, wishing me a happy Easter, commenting on the horses. One name caught my eye. “Hi, Aldrin,” I said. “Aldrin, when are you leaving for France?
April? Nice. Yes. ”
I had friends in Puerto Rico, friends everywhere, it seemed.
Stream friends were the best kind of friends, the kind who showed up just to say hi and keep you company while you fed your horse. I’d been thinking a lot lately about my streaming. Part of me wanted to do more gaming, because I wanted to be taken seriously by the gaming streamers as well. There was a lot of bias in that direction, I felt.
Gaming was seen as the real streaming, the established, respected kind, while IRL streaming was treated as the new, flashy, unproven thing. Even though IRL was super cool and innovative, there was still that little bit of bias that always favored the gamers. “Oh, my horse is coming now,” I said, snapping back to the moment. “Hold your horses.
”
I was exhausted, honestly. The strength training earlier had kicked my butt, and then the cardio after that had finished the job. I was barely holding it together, yawning every few minutes. “I feel like it’s the strength training and then the cardio after that,” I said.
“Low-key kills me. ”
“Oh my gosh, I’m falling asleep,” I added a moment later. “I’m dropping everything. Literally, this is me.
”
The hay steamer needed to be connected properly, and I kept messing with it while balancing the phone, the carrots, and my own exhaustion. Another horse in the barn was getting brushed, and I caught myself watching it for a second, wondering how they had it so together. “Okay, wait,” I said. “Wait, can someone replay?
Can someone replay Pedro? ”
There had been a moment earlier, when Pedro the horse had done something funny, and I wanted to see it again. But I didn’t dwell on it too long, because Aries was right there, and he was getting impatient. “If I have a mod, come here, Aries,” I said.
“Aries. Come here. ”
He came, but only because he wanted the carrot. He took it from my hand, quick and greedy, and then he licked the microphone.
The stream audio picked up the wet, sloppy sound, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “He’s like, carrot to the camera, wall to the wall,” I said. “That’s what it means, right? ”
The chat was having a field day.
People kept sending in comments, telling me to be careful, telling me he was going to eat me. I waved it off. “Do you want to eat them? ” I asked him.
He just looked at me, probably calculating how many carrots he could still get out of this interaction. “Okay, I’m going to shape,” I said, getting back to the stretching exercise. I wanted him to step over the pole one more time, to keep the routine going. “You want one more?
One more like this. Come here. Come under here. Good boy.
”
He did it, stepping over the pole cleanly. I gave him another carrot, and he crunched it happily. “GG easy,” I laughed. It was moments like these that reminded me why I did this, why I got up early and came to the barn even on holidays.
There was something grounding about it, the routine of it, the simplicity of a horse and a carrot. The stream was a nice bonus, a way to share the moment with whoever wanted to join. “That’s a good song too,” I murmured as something played in the background. I checked the comments, thanked people for joining, and started thinking about wrapping up.
I’d been at it a while, and the exhaustion was catching up with me in a serious way. I needed water, I needed food, I needed a nap. “Okay,” I said, taking a breath. “I’m probably going to end here.
And then I’ll see you guys in the morning another day. ”
I paused, glancing over at Aries. “And if no one is riding him, I’ll ride him briefly here. But not today.
”
“Thank you,” I said, my voice softening. “We love you. ”
The chat flooded with hearts and goodbyes, and I smiled. “You be careful, Aries,” I said, giving him one last pat.
And then the stream was over. I stood there for a moment, in the quiet of the barn, with the hay still steaming in the fancy hay gain and the carrots mostly gone. Aries was content, munching on the last of his treats, and I was ready to go home. Easter was weird, the schedule was off, and I was running on fumes.
But the horse was fed, the stretch was done, and the stream had gone well enough. I grabbed my phone, double-checked that everything was off, and headed for the door. The double Dutch bus song was still in my head, but I didn’t mind. It was a good one to end the day on.
Outside, the air was fresh, and the holiday quiet had settled over the barn. I walked to my car, thinking about Aldrin going to France in April, thinking about the gaming streamers and the bias I had to overcome, thinking about how I still had to figure out the rest of the day. But for now, all that could wait.
I got in the car, turned the key, and let the song play in my head as I drove home.